If You Could Step Back in Time
If you could step back into your motherhood years and do it again — would you?
Not to erase the mess or the tears, but to cherish them more.
One day, the little faces we see every morning will be just faces in old photographs. What if we could live today in a way that makes us never want to go back and change a thing?
Wouldn’t it be nice to truly enjoy those beautiful faces — before they become distant memories locked away in photographs of years long gone?
To savor the precious moments without the anxiety and stress so many of us mothers have endured…
Wouldn’t we grab the chance to step back in time? To enjoy even the tears and dirty diapers that now are just a faded blur?
If only we could go back… choose calm, choose to care for ourselves emotionally, physically, and mentally. If only we could become the mother we always wished we had been.
The things I know now — I wish I knew then.
I wish I knew that proper, whole-body nourishment could have eased those endless nights of crying, exhaustion, and laundry. That self-care was not selfish, but a lifeline.
And while we cannot literally turn back the clock, we can return to those moments in our hearts. We can revisit the choices, acknowledge the mistakes, and choose differently — right now.
This is real. It’s a concept I learned from Rav Avigdor Miller zt”l, passed down from his Rebbeim in Slobodka.
It’s called “b’chirah l’mafrea” — going back into our memories and doing teshuva for our past wrong choices.
It means admitting, fully and from the heart: If I had known better, I would have done better.
Now, we can choose the better path.
We have the knowledge. We understand our bodies and emotions more than before. We’ve learned to ride the waves of our hormones. We’ve discovered how nutrition and self-care — especially postpartum — shape our mental state and the mothers we become.
The more awareness we have, the more it transforms the present. And with a sincere, pure teshuva, it can even ripple backward, healing the mistakes of the past.
Forgiveness is possible. Renewal is possible. And your True You can shine.
In Hashem’s world, nothing is wasted. Even our regrets can become seeds for the most beautiful growth.
